Saturday, July 23, 2005

Challenge 1: Schmoozing or Losing

Love celebrities, I do. Fascinating do I find them.. read gossip magazines too much, I do. Spend all my extra credits on them I do. Yell at me about this, Yoda has.. but one to talk, he is not.. buy Dolly merchandise off eBay like a madman he does.

The first challenge, then, to find me celebrities to meet was. Had two hours to find a celebrity to meet, they guys had. He who impressed with their celebrity the most, the winner would be.

Thought this a difficult challege I did. Expect much from them, I did not...

Noa B., the first one back was. Too little time had he spent finding a celebrity he had.. worry me this did.. but tell me that an old friend had he called. From Endor he is, so expecting an Ewok I was... but his friend the Quaker Oats Quaker was!

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Unimpressed with this "celebrity" I was. Much to discuss with him, I did not have.

Next back, The Colonel was. Tell me, he did, that call his friend Mrs. (Betty) White he had. A Golden Girl she is.. but watch that show in years, I have not.

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Understand how they know eachother, I do not. Know how he knows Yoda, I did not, but until end this Potty-Board mischief did, a suspect he was, and looking to stretch out his 15-minutes he is. An Omarosa-Complex he has.. but again.. have much to talk about with Mrs. (Betty) White, I did not have. Associate her with Bea Arthur I do.. and scared she makes me.

Then, return Johnny D. did. And several friends had be brought.

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The "Boxcar Chlidren" he said they were called. Further convince me that homeless he is, if his friends in a boxcar live. Polite they were.. and looking to solve mysteries they were. Told them I did, that a mystery they had just missed. Then throw a fit they did. Break a lamp they did! Ask them to leave, I had to.

Next the filmmaker, Tim B. came back with his friend, Helena Bonham Carter.

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A mess she was. Angry too. Understand why brought her, he had, I could not. Smoke a lot, she did.. and then leave together they did. A couple do I think they are.. so.. off the show he might by default be. But his movie will I still watch, since such great things people say.

A few guys with no one came back.. lame did I find this.

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Worried I was when a few seconds left there were, and return the "5th one down" had not. My favorite, he was, so wonder I did.. and then finally, back he came. One of my favorites he brought back! Danny Devito it was!

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Loved him since I saw Twins I have! And Matilda have I watched many times! Thrilled I was.. and won the game The 5th One had. Sent the others back to the house, I did.. and vote no one off I did, since left with Helena Bonham Carter, Tim B. seemed to have.

On our date, Danny Devito came. Fun we all had. Drink coffees we did. But so excited to be talking with Danny Devito, little more did I learn about The 5th One.

Danny and I, the same size do we wear! A small world, it is!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Scraping the Bottom of the Bucket This Is.

Still think this show sucks, I do. Still, play along I will. Nothing better to do have I..

A meet-and-greet with the guys I had. Cocktails there were.. a green-apple martini did I have.. and yummy it was. Much did I learn. In some cases, too much information it was. Know when to shut up, these weirdos do not.

So cool, I do not think myself.. but a Jedi Master I am! An accomplishment that is! Telling me about what they do they were.. not so impressed was I. The movie maker, Tim B. he is called on the show, a movie about a man with scissors for hands he made. Ridiculous this sounds! Watch this did anyone??

An eye did I keep on the "5th one down," Still know where I know him from, I do not. Quiet he keeps.. interested this makes me.

But take the time to read one of the author's books I did (speed-read with the Force, I can!). Stephen K. he is called. A book about a clown I read. Expected a funny story I did... but get this I did not!

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Afraid to turn my lights off now I am! Embarassing this is.. that well over 400 years old I am and sleeping with my Barbie night-light on I am.

So.. vote him off I did. Sorry to see him go, I was not. Bump into a wall he did on the way out. See it, he couldn't.

So now, back to the house they all went. Living together, they are. Two to a bedroom do they sleep.. cheap of NBC I think this is. Their own rooms they do not get??

Tomorrow, a competition will we have.. and go on a date with the winner I will. Concern me this does. What if out with Oatmeal-Guy I have to go??

But, turn my attention to the Potty-Board matter now, I must. Accused I have been.. but, really, when snubbed someone is, steal a potty board, who does?? Sick that is.. do what with it, would I?? Over the mantle would I display it? Use it myself would I? No... believe this to be a lame excuse for Yoda to spend time with me, I do. Miss me, he does. Know it, we all do.

But better things have I moved on to now...

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Or not. Whatever... the principle of the thing, it is.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Of The Darkside, NBC Is!!

So much to tell I have.

Call me, NBC did. Tell me that send in an audition tape, I must. Send my measurements I must also. Personal information about me, this NBC wants..

Going to help me make an audition tape, Kenobi was... but forgot about it, he did. Pissed about this, I am. Know how to use the camcorder only he and Skywalker do.. but busy now, they both were!!

Make the tape myself I did... but of poor quality it is...

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Worried that make it onto dating shows I would not, I was. But make it I did!

Pack my bags, I did. A leave of absence I took. In 476 and 1/2 years, only one day have I taken off (watch Princess Di’s wedding, I did. A charade that ended up being...). Deserve this, I do!

"Watch out," thought I, "Yaddle, here comes!"

However, now, disillusionment do I feel.

A joke this show is!! Hunks I do not see.

A show called Average Joe I am on. Pathetic, these males are. Sexy I find them not!

Tell me that they are interesting people, the producers do.. that good spirits do they have. Care not about these things do I!! Here for a fling, I am. Flung by these guys, I do not wish to be.

But meet them, I have. Off a bus did they come.. one worse than the last they were!

All glasses do they wear. Signify their unsexy-ness, this does.

Tell you about them, I will:

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A doctor he says he is. Believe this, I do not. Carry around a burlap mask he does.. threaten to show it to me he does. Appreciate this, I do not. A wacko do I think he is.

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Nearly fall off the bus he did. See the steps, he could not. Wonder how many Coke bottles had to lose their bottoms to make his glasses I do. Write books, this one does. Talk about phobias, this one does too. Freaking each other out, he and the first one seem to enjoy. Attracted to him, I am not.

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Good looking, this man could be.. but wear goofy hats and glasses he does! Smell as though he’s showered recently, he does not. Appealing, this is not. Homeless I thought him when off the bus he came..

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Like to travel, this man does. A dweeb, he is. Carry his "Euros" in a fanny pack he does... show me his fanny pack, he did!!

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Familiar this one looked, though place him, I could not. Tell me his name, he would not. Peculiar did I find this...

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Trust this man, I do not... speak of Yoda he did... concern me, this does. Thrown in my face, I do not wish my past to be..

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Familiar is this one too!! Young he seems. Brash he is.. but wear a tie he did! Impress me, this did.

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Smell like oatmeal, this guy did. Gross did I find this.

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To get back on the bus, I wished this one would. “A joke this is??!” I asked, “The real guys, where are??” No hunks were there. Bad teeth this man had.. and “direct movies,” he says he does.. movies to watch with my mother, I think them not. A pervy vibe did I get from him... but, wrong have I been before.

Time to think about this I have. Vote one of them, "off the island" tomorrow I must.. know which one yet, I do not.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Back In The Saddle I Am!

Tired of being single I am. Finished looking at the same old Jedi I am.. when lived 477 years, bored with the same old faces you get. And find, I did, in the Jedi code, a loophole...

If under .75 meters you are, allowed to date casually you are... though married, you cannot be.. engaged you can not be... and Scientologist you cannot be...

Elated, I was, when Tom Cruise did I call.. tell him about that last rule I did. Throw furniture, he did. Hear it through the phone I did.. as on speaker phone I was. Screaming about, “Xenu,” he was.. though know who that is, I do not.

Call NBC I did. Known for fine dating shows, they are.. perfect for a busy Jedi Master these shows are! Time to date a lot, I do not have... find me quality males to chose from, they will!

Saturday, July 16, 2005


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So wrong with me, what is??

Tell everybody about the note I sent him, Yoda did. Go on Oprah and talk about it, he might as well have.

Depressed now, I am. Answering my phone tonight, I am not. Bring myself to watch "Bridget Jones", I cannot even... and my FAVORITE movie it is!!

Fair, this is not. Deserve this.. I do not.

My Ben & Jerry's.. I do not even want. A diet am I supposed to be on!

Know each other for a long time, we have. Have much in common we do. Use the same step-stools in the kitchen we do. Age matters not! And prefer older men I do!

Buy the cow you should not when for free get the milk you do. Depressing, this is, but true.

Learn from this experience, I will. Share my feelings with Yoda again, I will not.

Too Much Chocolate Have I Eaten

Watched holovid of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" today I did. Enjoy it I did. Crazier and crazier, that Johnny Depp gets...

Made me want chocolate, the holovid did. So buy Hershey's kisses I did.. only, too many did I eat. Sick now do I feel.

Considering the South Beach diet I am. Know another Jedi knight who lost 30 pounds on the diet, I do! Exercise he did not! Weigh only 40 lbs now do I, so the diet for me, this might be.

Tomorrow, the first day of the rest of my life is. Cut out bad carbs I may. But keep the rest of my dark chocolate, I will.

A health food they say it is!

Friday, July 15, 2005

The ABC's of Yaddle

A- Age: 477 years old

B- Band you're listening to now: Listening to the "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson I am.

C- Crush: Dangerous to say, it is. Read this, he might. Nervous, this makes me. A clue will I give you; sits on the Jedi Council, he does.

D- Dad's name: Yuriel

E- Easiest person to talk to: Kenobi, this is. A bag of CHeetos I give him and all ears he is.

F- Favorite ice cream: Rocky Road.

G- Gummy worms or gummy bears?: Too much sugar in those, there is! Prefer butterscotch candy, I do.

H- Hometown: Unknown.

I- Instruments: Tone-deaf, I am. Carry a tune with handles, I could not.

J- Junior high: Skipped several grades I did.

K- Kids: None, have I. A too narrow-set pelvis do I have.

L- Longest Car Ride: A trip to Disneyland with Skywalker, Windu, Kenobi, and Yoda it was. No AC was there! 107 degrees it was! Worth it, it was not... expensive, my ticket was. $4 for a bottle of diet coke I paid! Outrageous it is!

M- Mom's name: Yolanda

N- Nicknames: YaYa

O- One wish: To meet Oprah, my wish is. Amazing, I think she is.

P- Phobia[s]: June bugs. Hate them, I do.

Q- Quote: "In three words, sum up everything I've learned about life, I can; go on, it does" -- Frost

R- Reason(s) to smile: Nicolette Sheridan.. nominated for an Emmy was not. ;)

S- Song you sang last: "Since U Been Gone"

T- Time you woke up today: At 9:00 am, woke up, I did.

U- Unknown fact about me: Kill you without using the Darkside, I can. Talent, this is.

V- Vegetable[s] you hate: Carrots, I hate. Turn me puce one summer they did!

W- Worst habits: Eat before bed I do... floss, I do not.

X- X-rays you've had: None to speak of is there.

Y - Years since you've been to a religious place?: A Temple do I live in.

Z- Zodiac sign: Libra I am. Balance, do I seek.

My First Post This Is.

Admit it, I do. Caved into peer-pressure I have. Tired, I am, of listening to Yoda tell me about his blog over lunch. Monotonous, he can become.

But one to be left behind, I am not. So blogging, I am.

Know what to put here, I do not. About crushes am I supposed to write? Type with so few digits, difficult it is. Sigh, I must.

Watched holovision show "Extreme Makeover" tonight, I did. Watch it again, I will not. Depressed, I became, when realized, I did, that a field day with me would they have. Too many problems, I have. Lassik eye surgery would I like. Near-sighted, I am.

But when 477 years old your eyes are, as good your sight will not be!